come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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