After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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