My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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