can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
