you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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