I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
