I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
