I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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