I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
