Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
My ATM looks so different sober.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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