Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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