you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
