Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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