How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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