oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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