I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
