I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
