She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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