threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
