Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
We got so high we made milksteak
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
