Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
