u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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