just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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