so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
