if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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