Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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