I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Everyone says I win the strip club
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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