Will you blow on my dice?
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
