If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize