I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
