I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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