I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
