I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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