shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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