Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
