OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
