I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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