I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
