You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
birth control should be required to get into college
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
