Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
