butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
