So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm just crazy horny about you
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
