thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
