I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I CAN MOONWALK!
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
