Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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