I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
