am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
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His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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