my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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