I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
