I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Randomize
