I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
