I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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