Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
